There are days when I feel like I keep circling the same pattern over and over again in my journal? The more roundings of the pencil add to the emphasis I wish to place on a specific word or thought. And if only I could stop for one second and recognize that the hopelessness expelling from the graphite is merely a feeling. An attitude with a shape that has grabbed at my being, clinging on for dear life, lest I toss it down the cliff to reach it’s final resting place. It’s so hard to unhook the grasp for, it too, is a part of me. The part that screams out for validation, for the sake of the ego, for the demand of entitlement and for the hope of happiness.
But it is only one pencil in the prismacolor box of rainbows. All the other colors express different emotions and attitudes. How easily I can pull out a green pencil and fill in the soft grass blades of a spring day. Or blend the clouds to wisps of cotton candy. Add a tangerine umbrella to that stormy day. After all, I own that whole box of colors and can pick and choose which ones to use.
I walked into the office the other day complaining about the rain. The gloominess had once again destroyed my sunny disposition and painted my frame in a dull grey mood. My friend looked at me and said – What do you mean? Look outside (we turned to the window), look at the grass. Do you see how green it is? And the trees were so thirsty. Do you see how full they are and swaying in the wind? We needed the rain.
While I can only hope to aspire to such a positive outlook on life in general, I know it’s not necessarily in the cards for my personality. But I try to turn to the light when all seems hopeless. I try to find gratitude in the dusty corners of my mind and I try to smile as often as I can. I may not sit at the intersection of success and bliss, but there is always another day. Tomorrow I will start the day with a different color.
For those that are still digging in that box trying to find the right color…I came across this article this morning. Up for an interesting read? Screw Finding Your Passion by Mark Manson.
Like many of my ideas, this one has been taking up space in my head for quite some time now. I’m sure this idea generated originally from a Tori song as most of my thoughts are born from a mental deep dive into her head space. But then I have been pondering the whys, whats and wheres of life as the seasons cycle through once again. My own personal Netflix is on repeat, like clockwork. So pardon me if the next blog (or three) follows along the same theme. But I digress…
Once again, back to Great Falls Park, with my pals Tom and Kory and Audrey in tow for some (last) summer vacation modeling. This day was a bit of a bust for me. I had ideas, but they lacked luster and punch. Now that my cup runneth empty (meaning – I need to go shoot!), I’ve been digging back into the archives for some hidden treasures. Blowing the occasional dust and cobwebs off the library proves to produce gems…if only sometimes.
For this image, Blooming Solace, I came armed with a single rose. The skies were extremely overcast with such a cloud cover it created a haze…although we’d take that any day over blazing sun and harsh shadows. So we photographed the rose before crossing the rocky terrain, bags and suitcases of props in our grasp. (Kory is notorious for his box of tricks/props and very generous in sharing them with his fellow photogs.)
Here’s a detail…turning Audrey into a determined rose.
And of course, there are days when I manage to take more than a few behind the scenes shots.
Soaking it up by the main waterfall at Great Falls Park.
A smile despite the heat and humidity.
We all channel our inner billy goat while hiking around this park. And some of us get dressed up, sit in the waterfall with an anchor and produce amazing pieces like this…Hold on Strong.
Days like these make for some very happy days!